Ah, the beach. There’s nothing better than walking along the water, sand beneath your feet, wind in your hair, waves lapping up against the shore. Well, almost nothing. A warm, hassle-free LBFM pussy to cap it all off would certainly make it better, wouldn’t you agree?

Tourist Bob was back in town this week and dutifully recorded another LBFM snatch & grab for us. The lucky bastard lives in another near-by Southeast Asian country (to remain undisclosed) so he’s able to hop over here whenever he feels the urge. Thankfully for us, he feels the urge quite a bit, and who can blame him when he’s able to score sexy young snatch like this all the time?

When it’s crazy hot and sunny like it’s been here lately, you either wanna be in your hotel room, relaxing in the pool or inside someplace with good AirCon blasting. The last place you wanna be is walking around outside in a concrete jungle with trike & jeepney exhaust fumes sticking to your sweaty clothes. Jonas knows this all too well by now so he headed for the nicely chilled mall on base. Not only is it a retreat from the harsh Philippine sun, but it’s always a haven for pussy just waiting to be had.

If you have any Filipina experience whatsoever, you undoubtedly know about their hopeless confusion between the letters “P” and “F”. It’s unbelievably cute when they mix them up, but belly-achingly hysterical at the same time. They’ll just never get it right (no matter how many foreigners they hook up with). Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard: “Oooh yah, Puck my Foosy babeh!” I can’t get enough of that shit….it fucking kills me…even after all these years, lol.

It’s a funny thing about this place. Even in a family park in broad daylight there are freelancers prancing about looking to hock their wares. Sluttin’ knows no boundaries around here, that’s for sure, and our good pal Jonas would end up benefiting from this sordid local habitude. If you’re any kind of respectable monger and you see what he saw strutting across the grass in front of you, you throw all caution to the wind and go after it. This dainty, slinky thing in short shorts was parading her little ass through the park and just begging to be picked up.

There’s an old saying that goes “It takes a village…”, and well, it’s no different here on The World’s most infamous Filipina mongering site. We are fortunate here to have an entire squadron of rump-raiding rapscallions riding through the mean Philippines’ streets to search and destroy as many prime pieces of Pinay poonanny as possible. This week is another great example of the solid depth this nefarious team possesses when Mr. X slithers out from underneath the slimy shadows to grace our eyes with an exceptional body of his latest work.

For any sort of experienced PI monger, hearing that unmistakable melody of a Filipino ice-cream cart should immediately alert your puki-poaching radar. If there’s one thing most LBFM’s love, it’s sweets, and nothing is better on a typical hot Philippine afternoon than a nice cold popsicle or ice cream cone. So if you follow the sound of that pedi-cab driven dessert-mobile, you are almost always sure to find a worthy cock-candidate or two close behind.

Here’s another little piece of mongering info some of our newcomers might not know yet: If you’re in the Philippines and you’re in earshot of trike motors, it usually means there’s pussy nearby too. Not unlike last week with the ice-cream cart music, that tricycle sound let’s you know be on the lookout for LBFMs disembarking from a sputtering jerry-rigged sidecar. Jonas is none too new at this game so he knew the perfect spot to find such prey; at the parking lot near the mall.

Now, compared to the rest of Asia, the Filipinos speak the best English far and away. I mean, it’s really not even close. That is part of the big reason mongers love the place so much. The ability to actually relate and speak with the girls is huge. Especially if you’re used to places like Thailand and others where the non-sexual interaction leaves a lot to be desired. That said, don’t get fooled into thinking you’re going to hear a dissertation on quantum physics from one of your Filipina lady-friends anytime soon.

You know you’re on a tourist beach in a 3rd world country when you can’t walk more than 20 yards without relentless touts trying to sell all kinds of worthless crap to you. Well, that and the unkempt sand, filthy stray dogs, rickety wooden pontoon boats and scammy jetski rentals. So, this is paradise, huh? But then, just then, you realize what brought you here. Because you also can’t go more than 20 yards without a lovely brown-skinned LBFM crossing your path, and high praise to the Mongering Gods for that!