There’s nothing quite like Christmas in the Philippines. Here, the season basically begins in September. The music, the decorations and the cries of “where’s my Christmas?” from every bar-girl you meet, will overwhelm your eyes and ears for about 4 solid months. If you’re someone who hates Christmas, you should probably avoid coming here between September and January because you’re sure to get an overdose of it.

The boys were out for a cruise to find something special to write home about when they got in touch with a girl they ran into from the night before while figuring she could be the one for a jolly ol’ rogering on TukTuk Patrol. Upon arrival at her place of employment, they reintroduced themselves and whisked her off in the tuk-tuk. She was, after-all, in need a ride… so the boys surely took that as an opportunity to give her one (in more ways than one) while playing the age old “poor lost tourists” routine!

Ruh-roh...19 year old blonde, blue-eyed waitress Lyla is NOT happy about the ambush creampie. Or the anal. Hitler's wet dream here tries to come across as a strong, smart, all-grown up woman ("I'm TWENTY!! Well, 19... but 20 soon!") who will not degrade herself, keeping her head high and her values unscarred as she gracefully glides through life on her way to some undefined stardom of sorts. But money talks, and less than ten minutes after meeting me Lyla has my cock in her mouth and gobbles it down like it's a Christmas candy cane, lets me bang her ridiculously perfect body on the desk, and the couch, and drill her butthole after just a modicum of smooth talk. When I tell her she's not getting paid for her audition - after I enjoy her to my heart's content, of course - she can't wait to get outta there. Me, I kick back as I watch Lyla get dressed while she's trying to hide the "What the hell did I just do?!" regret on her face.

The sexual vivaciousness our favorite brand of Asian women display here every week probably seems even more far-fetched than the diminutive natives Swift wrote about in his famous novel. However, in a rare case of reality outdoing fiction, this place truly does exist and these women truly do possess an unparalleled carnal effervescence.